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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22458613">Aaron and Eric (The Aftermath)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aaricwriter/pseuds/Aaricwriter'>Aaricwriter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Walking Dead (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 17:00:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,815</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22458613</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aaricwriter/pseuds/Aaricwriter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Eric’s death, Aaron and Gracie deal with their grief as the communities rebuild.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aaron &amp; Jesus (Walking Dead), Aaron/Eric Raleigh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Jesus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I want you all to know that what a lot of what I post is original content, but I also pulled from many other works that I LOVED in order to make a cohesive, perfect story for me personally. If you want the details on specific works or if you wrote the works, let me know. Also, this is not canon, but it resolves itself without messing with the storyline.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When he lost Eric, it felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and crushed. He didn’t know how to cope without the love of his life, his rock. There was no one to hold him like Eric had, comfort him after nightmares like Eric had, or understand him and love him like Eric had. He knew Gracie felt the same way, but she had her daddy to help her. All Aaron had were memories now, and he couldn’t fill the hole Eric had left in his heart. He just wanted his family whole again. </p><p>He ran his hand down his curly beard. His hair was overgrown, and starting to tint grey at the temples though he wasn’t even old. He had also lost his arm, they were working on a prosthetic now, but for now it remained a stump. A physical manifestation of his loss. He thanked any higher power for his friends that had helped in through the loss of his limb. He often had difficulties taking care of Gracie and managing the phantom pain. He knew he let himself go a bit, but it was what he needed. He had to focus on other things beside himself, like Gracie and Alexandria. </p><p>It had been 3 years since the war ended. The communities were rebuilding, which helped ease Aaron’s mind some, but he wished Eric could see it. Forgiving the ex-Saviors was one of the hardest parts, especially Negan. He knew many of them had become good citizens, who took care of each other, but every once in a while, he saw a Savior and thought about how Eric should be in their place. He understood that some of the Saviors has no choice. They were slaves under Negan, but that didn’t make it any easier knowing Negan was alive and Eric was gone. </p><p>It was early in the morning. Gracie and the rest of Alexandria were still sleeping. He had been sitting quietly at Eric’s grave for an hour talking to him. He often thought about where Eric might be now. If he was in another state, a mile away or if someone had taken him out. It was a thought that haunted his dreams at night. Gracie had woken him up once early in the morning, for he had been screaming Eric’s name in his sleep. He had dreamed of watching Eric’s walker walk off into the distance more times than he could count. He felt like sometimes he couldn’t bring joy to Gracie like Eric had. Especially when she was sad. He had tear stains down his cheeks, and the most upsetting thing to him was that Eric was probably the only one who could tell him what to do. He smiled fondly at his wedding ring, knowing that Eric would probably kick his ass for feeling so down, but he hoped he would be proud of how he had evolved as a parent. </p><p>“See you later, sweetheart. Love you,” he whispered, kissing his hand and touching Eric’s headstone. </p><p>He threw his pack over his shoulder and hopped onto his horse. Galloping through the gate, he basked in the silence of the outside. He felt at peace. Once he got to his destination, a field between Hilltop and Alexandria, he waited patiently. </p><p>Finally, he heard hooves hitting the ground and he stood up. Jesus, with his hair in a bun and his usually trench coat, made his way through the clearing and jumped off of his horse as it approached Aaron.</p><p>“Hey, man!”</p><p>“Hey, Jesus.”</p><p>He hugged the man. During the past couple of years, Jesus was teaching him to fight. He wanted to be useful, he had to be, but he didn’t know how to fight with one hand. He needed Jesus to teach him how to adapt his fighting style so that he could protect his loved ones and Alexandria. He also enjoyed spending time with him. Jesus has become a close friend and someone he could confide in. </p><p>After they had finished a few rounds, and Aaron had gotten knocked on his ass a few times, the two took a break, sitting on a fallen tree.</p><p>“How are things running at Hilltop with Maggie gone?”</p><p>“She basically put me in charge. I don’t know how to lead these people...” he looked into Aaron’s eyes, “It was my job to recruit for Hilltop. I found people, that’s what I was good at. Leading people is different. I’m stuck there all the time.”</p><p>“I get that. At least you have Tara with you.”</p><p>“She does most of the organizing anyways. It’s like I’m only there to keep my promise to Maggie.”</p><p>“I think you would be a great leader. The people look up to you. All of those ex-Saviors at Hilltop that you saved, they are community leaders because of you. You make good calls. Even when it’s not easy.”</p><p>When Aaron finished his piece, Jesus couldn’t help himself. He leaned in and kissed Aaron, trying to express his feelings in that one kiss. Only a second passed when Aaron pulled away. He looked down at the ground. </p><p>“I-I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that I—“</p><p>“Jesus... it’s not you. I just...I can’t. I love our friendship, I really do, but I can’t.” </p><p>“Wouldn’t Eric want you to move on? Find love again?”</p><p>At the mention of Eric’s name, Aaron closed his eyes, “He was the love of my life. I am never going to have that again. It’s not a matter of what Eric would want. He was my world, and now he’s gone.” </p><p>“Aaron, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”</p><p>“I love Eric so much, and I'm never going to stop. The day he died, part of me died with him, and no one can change that. Don’t feel bad about that. You are one of the best friends I have had in a long time. I love being able to talk to you. Friends?”</p><p>Jesus took his hand, “Friends,” the two embraced, “How’s the arm by the way?”</p><p>Aaron sighed, “It’s getting there. It’s like I can feel the arm, and it hurts, but it isn’t there. It’s also frustrating not being able to do the things I could before, especially with Gracie.”</p><p>“Well it certainly hasn’t slowed down your fighting.”</p><p>Aaron laughed, “You say that as if you haven’t knocked me on my ass 100 times.”</p><p>“You’ll get there. I am a very good teacher,” he clapped Aaron on the back helping him up.</p><p>They went on to train a few more times, Aaron getting better with every practice run. Both were relishing in the friendship they had formed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Parenting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I want you all to know that what a lot of what I post is original content, but I also pulled from many other works that I LOVED in order to make a cohesive, perfect story for me personally. If you want the details on specific works or if you wrote the works, let me know. Also, this is not canon, but it resolves itself without messing with the storyline.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aaron was sitting on a bench by the water with Michonne. She had come to him in the last month for comfort since she lost Rick. It was the least he could do for her. He knew she would be a valuable leader in the community. </p><p>Currently, both of them were watching the Gracie and Judith play on their old bicycles. Aaron had come across a few on his last run, and he knew he had to take them back for the kids. He had always loved riding his bike with his brother before his dad left, and even then, he would ride into the town to escape. He loved teaching Gracie how to ride. It made his heart burst when he heard her giggle and laugh as her and Judith rode around the pond. He and Michonne chuckled when they rode a little too close to Eugene who was caught by surprise by the kids flying past him. </p><p>“I wish they could see this,” Aaron whispered, “Eric would have loved this.”</p><p>Michonne smiled and grabbed his shoulder, “They both would’ve.”</p><p>“I know what it’s like... not being able to bring someone you love back. Everyday I think about where he might be.”</p><p>“Me too. We’ll be okay. Thank you for everything...” she grinned, “The bikes are a nice distraction.”</p><p>Minutes later, as the sun was setting, Judith and Gracie put their bikes away and ran to their parents.</p><p>“Did you have fun?” Asked Aaron, picking his daughter up and setting her on his lap.</p><p>“Yeah! Daddy, can Judith sleep over tonight?”</p><p>He chuckled at his daughter’s enthusiasm, “Michonne?” </p><p>“I don’t see why not,” she cupped Judith’s face in her hands.</p><p>They started walking back to Aaron’s house through the quiet streets of Alexandria. </p><p>“What sounds good for dinner?” Asked Aaron.</p><p>“What do you have?”</p><p>He thought for a moment and smiled, “When’s the last time you had pizza?”</p><p>Michonne threw her head back laughing, “Oh man... it’s been forever! I never thought about making pizza.”</p><p>“I think we can make that happen then.”</p><p>For the first time in a long time, Aaron’s kitchen was full of life as the four of the made pizza for the first time in a long time. It was a simple thing but something that brought them together and helped them forget the horrors they had been put through. </p><p>Michonne helped Aaron clean and put dishes away as the two girls went into Gracie’s room to play. </p><p>As it got late, Aaron went to say goodnight to Gracie and tuck her in. He stopped at the door when he heard the two girls talking. </p><p>“Your mom is so fun, Judith.”</p><p>“I know... but sometimes she gets really sad.”</p><p>“My daddy is sad too, but it’s always when he’s alone.”</p><p>“What happened to your mom?”</p><p>Aaron’s heart dropped. He didn’t know what to expect. Gracie sniffed, “I didn’t have a mom. My papa Eric died when I was little. He was brave and saved daddy from bad people.”</p><p>“Mine too. I miss him a lot.”</p><p>“I miss my papa too. I try to talk to him sometimes. I wish I could have said goodbye.”</p><p>“Same here.”</p><p>“I can hear my daddy crying sometimes. I want to remember my papa, but I don’t want to make him sad.”</p><p>“You should just ask. I talk to my mom about my dad a lot, and it helps her remember him too.”</p><p>“Thanks Judith.”</p><p>“Anytime! Did you draw anymore pictures?”</p><p>Aaron decided now was a good time to interrupt. He took a deep breath and composed himself before slowly opening the door.</p><p>“Hey, girls. What do you say we go to bed? You must be tired from riding your bikes.”</p><p>“Daddy, I drew you a picture,” with a proud smile, she handed him a picture she drew of a small, green turtle in the waves.</p><p>“Wow! You are quite the artist, aren’t you?” He picked her up with one arm and spun her around, “this is fridge worthy.”</p><p>She giggled loudly. Aaron loved Gracie’s laugh, for it reminded him of Eric’s. He laid her down in the bed and saw Michonne leaning in the doorway, “Want me to read to you both before you go to bed?” </p><p>“Yeah!” They both exclaimed.</p><p>“What do you want to hear tonight?”</p><p>She looked at Judith and then down to her blanket, “Can you tell me a story about papa?”</p><p>Aaron smiled sadly, “Of course, sweetheart. Michonne, is that okay?”</p><p>She made her way over to the bed and sat down next to Judith, “Definitely.” </p><p>He stroked Gracie’s hair, “Do you want to look through our old photo albums?”</p><p>“Is that okay?”</p><p>“Of course. Sometimes I look through them when I miss him.”</p><p>“I’d like that,” she smiled, taking Judith’s hand. </p><p>“Okay, I’ll be right back,” he kissed her forehead and walked to get the albums from under his bed. He held them tight to his chest as he walked down the stairs, mentally preparing himself.</p><p>“Alrighty, let’s have a look.”</p><p>He flipped to the first page and couldn’t help but smile. </p><p>“This was from a long time ago when daddy was still young. We had just moved in together before the dead came,” he continued to flip the pages, telling the story of each photo like they had taken it yesterday, “This is papa putting up the license plates from all over,” he laughed, “Papa accidentally hit his finger with the hammer.”</p><p>Gracie giggled. She didn’t feel sad; she just wanted to know more and more.</p><p>“Oh I love this picture. This is papa when we first got you. He was injured, but he couldn’t stop holding you. You were always papa’s little girl.”</p><p>Gracie inhaled shakily and ran her hand over Eric’s face, trying to reach out to him, “He had a really nice smile.”</p><p>“Oh his smile was beautiful. He also had the biggest, brownest eyes, so full of life. He could light up the room.”</p><p>Gracie snuggled closer.</p><p>“This was from our last Hanukkah with Eric’s grandma. I wish you could have met her. His parents passed away about a year before this.”</p><p>“What’s that?” She pointed to the picture.</p><p>“That was our menorah. It’s a symbol for Hanukkah because papa was Jewish. We still have one, but we hadn’t used it at all since we found it. Maybe this year.” He flipped the page.</p><p>“That’s aunt Enid!” </p><p>Aaron laughed, “Yep! They had just done a shift in the infirmary all night and then went to work in the gardens the rest of the day, so they passed out on the couch while I was making dinner. We had a lot of leftovers that night.” He pulled her closer as he turned the page.</p><p>“Wow,” Gracie gasped as she ran her hand down the photo. It was one of Aaron’s favorite. It was a photo Enid had taken one night in Alexandria during a sunset. The picture was beautiful. Both men were holding hands and had their foreheads together, eyes closed in a moment of pure intimacy and bliss. Aaron couldn’t help the tear that fell down his face as he stroked Eric’s cheek through the picture. He chuckled when Gracie wiped his tear away. </p><p>They continued to flip through pages and pages of photos taken over many years. From pictures in the streets of Paris, to the men sleeping in their campsites on runs, to the photo of them dancing at one of their friend’s wedding, to pictures of Eric playing with Gracie with Bunny, and cute pre-apocalyptic pictures of the couple who had no idea their world would fall apart. </p><p>The last picture was of Eric curled up to his side in their bed, his head on his shoulder and his hand with his wedding ring softly laying on his chest. Gracie was sleeping peacefully and snuggly between them. Aaron took the picture while giving Eric a kiss on the top of his head. </p><p>With an emotional sigh, he closed the book, “How was that, baby?”</p><p>“Thank you,” she whispered into his shoulder. </p><p>“Anytime, sweetheart. Please don’t be afraid to talk to me about him. I miss him a lot, and sometimes that makes me sad, but I want to share him with you. It’s important to me that you remember him. He loved you a lot.”</p><p>“I know. I love him too.”</p><p>Aaron smiled, “I know that’s all he would want.”</p><p>Gracie paused, “Daddy?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“What happened to him when he passed away? You never told me.”</p><p>He looked worriedly at Michonne, not wanting to upset Judith. She gave him a nod, “He uh... we were being chased by the bad men, and I couldn’t go fast enough and carry him. I—“ he gulped, “I fell down carrying his body, and I had to leave him.”</p><p>She was visibly crying, “Did he become one of the monsters?” </p><p>“I don’t know. Probably, though,” hot tears lined his cheeks, “I don’t know where he is or what happened to him.”</p><p>She whimpered, “Daddy, that’s scary. I don’t want him to be a monster!” </p><p>He sobbed. He knew she was terrified of the walkers and saw what they could do. It was jarring for both of them to think of a loved one turning into the mindless, snarling monsters that wandered through the wilderness and haunting their dreams. It was enough to keep him awake, “I know. I know, sweetheart, but I don’t want you to think about that. Think about papa in the pictures we took. Remember that day at the pond?”</p><p>“Mhm. I dream about it.”</p><p>He laughed, “That’s great! You and him were so happy that day. Hold onto that.”</p><p>“Thanks, daddy. I’m sorry you get so sad.”</p><p>“Everyone gets sad, but you make everything so much better,” he combed through her hair, and Michonne did the same for Judith, “How about we go to bed?”</p><p>“Sounds good.”</p><p>“I love you, Gracie.” </p><p>“I love you too, daddy.”</p><p>Michonne mirrored his actions and they both kissed their children goodnight. </p><p>Aaron sighed. He was emotionally wiped out, “Can I get you a glass of wine, Michonne?”</p><p>“No, thanks,” she smiled slightly as she put a hand on her stomach.</p><p>“Everything okay?”</p><p>She paused, “Aaron... I’m pregnant. It’s Rick’s.”</p><p>“Oh my god, Michonne. That’s amazing!”</p><p>“I know... I’m just worried about raising them both on my own. I always have my hands full with Judith, and I don’t know if I can handle trying to raise two kids in this world. Especially his. It’s still painful.”</p><p>“You aren’t alone, though. Alexandria has never been safer. Don’t think of doing it without him. Think about doing it for him.”</p><p>“Thanks, Aaron. You’re a good father and friend. She’s lucky to have you.”</p><p>“Likewise,” he hugged her, “I’m going to have a glass of wine, but feel free to take the bedroom. I can sleep on the couch.”</p><p>“Thank you. The pizza was great by the way.”</p><p>He chuckled, “I thought so too. Night, Michonne.”</p><p>“Night, Aaron.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Fair</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Set after episode 9x15, “The Calm Before”.</p><p>Aaron guards Negan who asks one too many questions about Eric, while the rest of the Alexandrians are at the Fair. He learns about the deaths at the Kingdom.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I want you all to know that what a lot of what I post is original content, but I also pulled from many other works that I LOVED in order to make a cohesive, perfect story for me personally. If you want the details on specific works or if you wrote the works, let me know. Also, this is not canon, but it resolves itself without messing with the storyline.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aaron blinked awake suddenly with a quiet pant, he was looking into darkness.<br/>The bedroom was almost entirely dark apart from the small amount of moonlight that was filtering through the large bedroom's windows at the side of the bed.</p><p>He instinctively reached out for Eric’s side of the bed as he shot up, a sob caught in his throat as he pulled away. Sleeping alone was hard. He didn’t think he would ever get used to the empty side of the bed that he shared with the love of his life for so long. His heart was thumping, and his t-shirt was sticking to his armpits with the sweat he had produced during his dream. </p><p>It hadn't even been a nightmare, it was a sweet dream, a snippet of a moment Aaron and Eric had shared on their trip to California, Aaron tackling Eric under the waves of the gorgeous beach they had visited. Both men were laughing and smiling so brightly. It was just them and their love for one another.</p><p>He squeezed his eyes closed, feeling the tears course down his cheeks, and rubbed a shaking hand over his face. </p><p>He looked at the clock: 4:26. He sighed knowing that his alarm would have gone off in four minutes. Today was not going to be a good day. He was on guard duty for Negan today at 6:00, and he wasn’t in the mood. </p><p>Being as careful and as quiet as he could, Aaron pushed himself up and climbed off the bed. Aaron left the room, and then carefully made his way down the stairs. He stopped by the front door, took his coat off the hanger and shrugged it on before leaning down and pulling his boots on. Before he left, he quietly tiptoed into Gracie’s room. She was sleeping peacefully with Bunny wrapped tightly in her arms. She was eight years old now, and she had become a very intelligent and passionate leader among the kids in Alexandria. </p><p>He smiled softly as he bent down to kiss her forehead before he left, “Love you.”</p><p>He stepped out of the house, and slowly began to stroll around. He stopped by the horses and fed a carrot to his horse before continuing on. The streets were quiet. Mostly everyone was at the fair at the Kingdom, but Michonne wanted him to stay to guard the place and take care of Gracie.</p><p>His feet led him to the graveyard subconsciously. He stepped around graves and head posts carefully as he walked to the one that marked his husband's resting place. His feet knew the way; he could do it with his eyes closed.</p><p>He sat down when he reached it, right by the head post. He smiled softly at the sight of the bouquet of flowers that sat on the grave, Aaron usually put flowers down once every few weeks, but he hadn't got it yet due to the whisperers sending the herds. The bouquet he had put down three weeks ago was beginning to die, yet another took its place. He smiled knowing that the people here cared for Eric. Aaron reached out and felt the yellow petals beneath his calloused fingertips, and then to the head post bearing his husband’s name. He lightly traced over the letters, hoping it would make him feel closer to him.</p><p>“I had another dream about you, you know?” He chuckled, “You should be flattered. I also had a good time with Gracie a few days ago. I was free a whole two days so I took her to Oceanside to see the ocean for the first time. I wish you could have been there. She loved it, just like you did. We listened to the waves, played in the water, and she saw a real sea turtle. God, I wish you could have seen it,” he finally let the tears fall, “I’m really trying my best. She just lost a part of her like I did when you died, and I don’t know if I can get it back. We talk a lot about you on the hard nights. I’ll pull out the albums and the journals and the license plates. I tell funny stories about you, and she loves it,” he whimpered, grasping the headstone, “I wish you would give me a sign. Something to tell me that you moved on or that you aren’t suffering. I just want you to be able to rest. You deserve that. God, Eric, you deserved so much more, and I’m sorry I couldn’t give that to you.”</p><p>He sat there for over an hour as the sun began to rise, he looked at his watch: 5:58. He let out a deep breath, “Give me strength today, lord knows I’m going to need it,” he smiled sadly, “I love you, baby.” He kissed the head post sadly and began to make his way out of the graveyard and to the prison. Stepping down the stairs with the book that he grabbed to pass the time, he nodded to Scott that he could go. </p><p>Without looking at Negan, he sat down in the chair by the cell door, weapon by his side. </p><p>Negan cleared his throat, “Aaron! Haven’t seen you in a damn long time! You know I can see a lot of Alexandria from the ground level here, and I couldn’t help but notice you sitting in the graveyard for over an hour... who’d you lose?” He asked with a smirk.</p><p>Aaron just stayed quiet. He couldn’t blow up, he had to keep his cool and be the nice guy. </p><p>“Oh come on. I am in a cage right now and the only entertainment I have is getting up in everybody’s business.” </p><p>“You don’t deserve to know anyone’s business. You took people’s futures away—their loved ones—so don’t tell me I owe you anything.”</p><p>“Damn Aaron, you know you are always so diplomatic, and I respect the shit out of that, but come on, can’t we have a civil conversation?”</p><p>Aaron just stared into his book. He used a photo of Eric for his bookmark, and right now he needed to draw strength from it.</p><p>“You know, you’ve been staring at that page an awful long time. I know you ain’t readin’ shit so talk,” he was silent for a minute, “hold up... don’t tell me... you lose the twink you were with?” He threw his head back and laughed, “Oh man! That must just suck! How’d it happen?... was it during your little rescue mission you pulled after I took him? Hm? Cause you almost made it out.”</p><p>Aaron closed his eyes and let go of his tears. </p><p>“Oh... so that is how uh,” he snapped his fingers, “oh what’s his name?... Eric! That’s when Eric bit the dust, huh?”</p><p>“You keep his name out of your mouth.”</p><p>“Look, I know how much he meant to you, and damn, he really went through a lot, but if y’all had just stayed in line...”</p><p>“You destroyed my life. My daughter’s life. Don’t ever, ever talk to me about what we should have done. You didn’t give me or... us a choice.”</p><p>“Did you, ya know...” he mimed shooting a gun into his head to ask if he had stopped Eric from turning.</p><p>He looked at the picture in his book, trying not to imagine Eric’s dead eyes going pale and glazing over, or his face decaying, or his bright smile turning cold and snarling. He felt bile rise in his throat.</p><p>“So you’re tellin’ me, your man is probably somewhere out there roamin’ around trying to eat people? Jesus, that is fucked up,” he grinned.</p><p>Aaron shot up from his chair, checked the lock and Negan’s cell and went up the stairs. He decided he could keep guard from outside the cell, as there was only one exit. </p><p>His breathing was shaky and his head was pounding. For about two hours into his shift, all had been calm. He hadn’t heard a word from Negan who was laying down on his cot. His day got a lot better when he saw Barbara and Gracie walking along the path towards him. </p><p>“Hey, guys!” Gracie ran to him, and he pulled her into his lap, “How was your morning, honey?”</p><p>“It was so fun! Barbara took us by the fence, and we saw so many animal like owls, deer and more turtles!”</p><p>“That’s amazing, sweetheart!” He blew a raspberry into her neck and watched her giggle, “Thanks Barbra, for everything.”</p><p>“No problem, Aaron. She’s one of my favorites. She tells me how much you help her with her reading and homework. I really appreciate it.”</p><p>“Of course. I want her to be a leader here someday.”</p><p>“Oh she will be, trust me.”</p><p>Aaron smiled and let Gracie walk with Barbara back to the school. Negan’s words forgotten. </p><p>All of a sudden he heard loud hoof beats and a motorcycle engine sound through the community from behind the gate. Laura, who was on lookout duty called down to him, “Aaron!”</p><p>He ran to the tower and climbed up, “Daryl?! Yumiko?!”</p><p>“Open the gates!” Daryl shouted from his bike.</p><p>Aaron climbed down, “What’s up? Did something happen at the fair?”</p><p>Yumiko spoke, “It was Alpha. She attacked while we were on our trip to Hilltop. She killed people at the Kingdom,” a tear rolled down her face, “put their heads on spikes.”</p><p>“Damn it!” He pinched his nose, “Who did we lose?” He asked shakily.</p><p>“Some of the Highway men. DJ. Tammy. Frankie. Rodney and Addy,” he closed his eyes and balled his hands up in a fist.</p><p>“They were only kids,” he whimpered.</p><p>“We lost Henry.”</p><p>He sighed, “Oh god, poor Carol.”</p><p>Daryl put his hand on Aaron’s shoulder, “Tara. Tara’s gone,”</p><p>He gasped, not being able to control the sob the ripped through him, “No,” he whispered, “No!”</p><p>Daryl held his shoulders, “Aaron...”</p><p>“Who else?” He cried.</p><p>“Enid.”</p><p>He doubled over and tightly gripped the ground, “Oh god. No... no...”</p><p>“I know,” Daryl rubbed his back, “but there’s no way they’re getting away with this. We’re gonna get ‘em for what they took from us.”</p><p>He nodded, thinking about Jesus, Tara and Enid. His family was slowly getting smaller.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Eric’s Walker</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Set after the Mid series finale 10x08, “The World Before”. (I have no idea how this could play out lol, but here is my best shot).</p><p>Aaron comes face to face with Eric’s walker after several years.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I want you all to know that what a lot of what I post is original content, but I also pulled from many other works that I LOVED in order to make a cohesive, perfect story for me personally. If you want the details on specific works or if you wrote the works, let me know. Also, this is not canon, but it resolves itself without messing with the storyline.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They had just gotten out of the cave. Aaron and Daryl had moved the herd out and helped everyone to safety, but they had lost Connie in the cave. There was no way they could go back.</p><p>After Daryl created the diversion and Aaron helped the others through the tunnels they reunited with an exhausted breath. </p><p>“She knew we were on to her. She knows we were looking for the herd and that we were close,” Aaron panted.</p><p>“Alpha wanted to trap us. We have to get back to Alexandria,” grunted Daryl. </p><p>“What about Connie?” Kelly whimpered. </p><p>“You know we will come back for her, but if Alpha decides to attack Alexandria or the other communities, we will lose more people.”</p><p>“Plus the whisperers know we’re here. They’ll be watching.”</p><p>Kelly looked at Magna who nodded sadly, “Connie would want you to go.”</p><p>Aaron squeezed her shoulder.</p><p>“Okay. But we come back here first thing when we see everything is fine at the communities.”</p><p>“You know it,” Daryl assured her. </p><p>They all made their way slowly—and carefully— back to Alexandria, knowing full well whisperers could be anywhere. Aaron and Magna were helping Jerry who had gotten injured in the tunnels. Carol was awfully quiet.</p><p>They had just entered the edge of the Forest when the heard the unmistakable growls of walkers. All of them drew their weapons and circled up, looking around for the source. As if camouflaged, a gang of whisperers with walkers tied in front of them emerged from behind the trees. More were behind them with guns. </p><p>Fear grasped them as Alpha stepped out from the circle of whisperers and walkers and looked at them with a content smile. They were trapped. Walkers and guns surrounding them.</p><p>“I guess you found my herd then. I am going to figure out where you learned this information, but unfortunately, you won’t be here when I do.”</p><p>They all looked on at Alpha with hatred except for Aaron, who looked devastated as he sunk to his knees. Daryl noticing his actions turned to see what Aaron was looking at. </p><p>“Aaron what is it—“ Daryl was quickly cut off by what he saw.</p><p>It was Eric—or his walker. It had been years, but he knew it was him. His red hair was unmistakable, as were his eyes and face though they were sunken and dull. The side of his mouth was torn and bloody. </p><p>Aaron choked out a sob, but he couldn’t look away. Eric was staring right at him, reaching his arms out trying to grasp at his as his teeth violently gnashed together. All he wanted was to hold him, to talk to him, but he couldn’t. His Eric was so close to him, though his face had decayed, it was him. His Eric. And now he knew Eric would probably kill him. </p><p>Alpha laughed as Aaron vomited on the ground at the sight of his lover, “Oh my... somethin’s upsetting this one. The man with the metal arm... I wonder who this guardian was to you,” She looked Eric up and down, “Look here, he’s got a wedding ring. Husband perhaps?”</p><p>Aaron shook as he continued to stare into Eric’s dead eyes. </p><p>“I’ve got an idea. Tie em’ up to that tree there. All except the man with the metal arm.” </p><p>They all struggled as they were tied to the large tree behind Aaron, who was still on his knees. He felt numb and frozen. It was a cruel joke. All he wanted was to see Eric again, but this was quite the opposite. </p><p>“Take this. You’re gonna need it,” she threw a knife a Aaron’s feet as two whisperer men forced him to his feet between the tree with his friends and Eric. </p><p>“Let’s head out! Take all the guardians except that one,” she smiled pointing to Eric, “Let him loose.”</p><p>All of the whisperers made their way back through the forest with their walkers in tow. Alpha backed away quietly as a man cut Eric’s ties and shoved his decaying body to the ground. Alpha and the man backed away chuckling. </p><p>Aaron sobbed as he stood up in front of Eric who was struggling to get to his feet, continuing to growl and chomp. </p><p>“Eric, baby. I-I can’t.” Aaron sobbed as he stepped back, letting Eric come forward towards him. He knew he had to protect his friends. He knew he had to take Eric out, “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry,” he sobbed as Eric hobbled to him. </p><p>“Come here, baby. It’s okay. Come on,” he whimpered.</p><p>Eric latched his arms onto Aaron, his grip as tight as it would be when he was alive. Aaron couldn’t help but cry as Eric’s face was so close to his. Seeing how he had changed was so much worse up close. He truly looked dead. He could feel Eric’s cold dead hands trying to grip his hair. </p><p>Aaron’s shaky muscles were not helping him as Eric tried to bite him. Aaron could feel his fingers breaking Eric’s ribs and digging into him as he struggled. All he wanted was to be gentle, but that was not an option. He looked Eric once more in the eyes. He had to kill him again. With all the strength he had, he pulled Eric down. </p><p>Aaron sobbed as he had wrestled his husband to the ground, “I’m sorry, baby. I love you. I love you,” he whispered as he slid the knife through Eric’s skull, something he prayed he would never have to do. The effect was immediate. Eric stopped fighting and fell limp in Aaron’s arms. The growls stopped and his face went soft. That was it. He was gone for good, and it hurt. Aaron forgot about his friends tied to the tree as he held onto the love of his life. He sobbed into his lover’s chest, holding onto his hand with the ring. </p><p>“Aaron,” Jerry whispered gently, “Aaron, we gotta go.”</p><p>Aaron looked up. He was devastated. He quickly cut his friends away from the tree, and went back down to lean next to Eric. He closed his eyes softly, and stroked his matted hair, throwing up the contents of his stomach once more. He firmly put his hand around the back of his neck and pulled him up into his arms, cradling and rocking him as he cried into Eric’s hair. </p><p>Daryl leaned down and put his arm around Aaron, “I can carry him back if you want me to.”</p><p>Aaron sniffed. Once again he was all cried out. He was shaking and felt numb. He couldn’t describe the deep sadness he was feeling. It was like someone tore open an old wound. All of the memories of him and Eric came back all at once. The fear of losing him became a reality. Twice. It was bad enough losing him once, but the second time nearly killed him. He had failed Eric and he had paid the price. The nightmare of having to kill the love of his life was disabling. </p><p>“No. I have to do this. I just want to take care of him. H-he deserved so much more,” Aaron sobbed.</p><p>“Okay. We understand, but we have to go. You have to go to check on Gracie.”</p><p>“Yeah,” he replied softly. He groaned as he hoisted Eric’s limp body in his arms. The weight reminding him that he was gone.  </p><p>He felt like collapsing as they neared Alexandria. He kept looking down to see Eric’s face nestled into his chest, like it had many times before. In the distance he could hear hoof beats coming in the direction of Alexandria. </p><p>“Rosita! Eugene!” Daryl shouted.</p><p>“We were coming to look for you guys,” she trailed off as she saw Aaron and Eric’s body in his arms, “Is that—?”</p><p>Daryl grunted, “Yeah. Alpha was keeping him. Must’ve found him wandering and took him.”</p><p>“Aaron, take my horse. You can get him back faster, okay?”</p><p>Aaron nodded weakly and climbed up to onto the saddle. He pulled Eric up with him, and leaned his front against his chest. </p><p>He breath hitched at the familiar contact and held back tears. He couldn’t help but give a sad smile towards his husband as he looked down at his face. For the first time in a long time, he looked somewhat peaceful. He could finally put him to rest properly like he deserved. He felt at peace knowing him and Gracie could say goodbye. He took a deep breath as he approached the gates. </p><p>“Aaron? Who—” He heard Gabriel suddenly cut himself off, “What can we do?”</p><p>“Can you make sure Gracie is inside? I don’t want her to see him like this.”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>With that he was through the gates. He could feel the stares of the Alexandrians on him as he slowly got off Rosita’s horse and pulled Eric into his arms, his head lolling to the side. </p><p>He carefully laid Eric down on the grass next to his empty grave. He spent a few moments gently stroking his hair back; it always comforted him when he was alive, and he hopes it would comfort him now as he was resting. He turned and saw Gabriel with a white sheet in his hands. </p><p>“Thank you. It’ll be nice to finally put him to rest,” he looked down sadly at his husband. He picked Eric up once more and laid him gently in the sheet. He began to dig. The sting in his eyes was almost unbearable as he dug his husband's grave again.</p><p>He felt Gabriel’s concerned hand on his shoulder, “Of course. Anything you need. I will help you dig if you want?”</p><p>“You don’t have to do that.”</p><p>“I want to. You both brought us here to safety, and that’s a debt we will never be able to pay.”</p><p>“Thank you. I know he would appreciate you looking out for me,” He nodded, remembering simpler times with his lover, “Where’s Gracie?”</p><p>“She’s with Barb, but she wants to see you. She was worried.”</p><p>He smiled, “I’ll let her say goodbye once I dig his grave.”</p><p>“Okay, but please let me help.”</p><p>“Us too,” he looked up from Eric’s face saw Daryl, Rosita, Magna, Jerry and Scott with shovels in their hands.</p><p>He smiled and sniffed, unable to show his gratitude, “Thank you,” he cried softly.</p><p>He dug with them for around 15 minutes before it became too much. For the remainder of the time, he just sat with Eric, letting his emotions wash over him, thankful he got to see his face again, yet devastated that Eric had to go through this. He could tell Eric had a rough few years. His ankle was turned at an odd angle and his clothing was torn and covered in dirt and blood— probably the same blood from the day he died. He could feel his ribs poking out of his chest like a man who was starving, and his wrists were thin as rails, he noted as he took his watch off. Maybe Gracie could have it when she grew a bit. But all in all, his face was pretty in tact apart from being sunken and torn in a few places. It was still his Eric— his beautiful, smart, loving Eric. He broke down clutching Eric’s hand and his chest.</p><p>It took them an hour to to complete digging up Eric's grave again, and the sun was beginning to set overhead. He nodded to Gabriel that it was time. </p><p>He felt sick as he saw Gabriel making his way towards the graveyard with Gracie. He was holding her hand and joking with her, and Aaron couldn’t have been more grateful for the fleeting moment of levity he provided. </p><p>When Gracie saw him, she ran up to him and jumped in his arms. </p><p>“I was so worried. Are you okay?”</p><p>He hugged her a little tighter, “Yeah, sweetheart, but...” he didn’t know what to say, “we, uh, ran into some whisperers on the way home, and they had some walkers with them, and...” he couldn’t help the tear that fell from his eye, “Papa was there.”</p><p>She cried out into his shoulder, “Shhh, I know. I brought him back this time. He’s at peace now. We can both say goodbye.”</p><p>“Does he l-look like one of them?”</p><p>Aaron knew Gracie had vicious nightmares about the walkers she saw around the walls, but he couldn’t lie, “A little, but you can still see him. It’s him, baby, it’s still papa. He wouldn’t want you to be afraid,” he gulped down a sob. He thought about what Eric would think if his daughter was afraid of him, “Think about the pictures in the album and all the fun times we had together,” he whispered. He pulled back and smiled at her, wiping her tears away, “Remember when we went skating on the pond? Remember how bad I was and how good papa was? He had to help me up so many times, and he held your hand as he guided you around. You were both so happy and smiling so much. When we did that, I thought of one of our first dates going to the rink. I guess I never learned, huh?”</p><p>She giggled and wiped at his tears, “Can I see him?” </p><p>“Of course. They’re done digging so we can say goodbye— properly this time.”</p><p>She nodded softly, and he took her hand and walked over to the grave and his body. He knelt down with her as he lifted the sheet. Gracie sobbed and buried her face in Aaron’s chest. </p><p>Slowly he turned her towards him, “I know that the walkers are scary, but he’s gone. It’s just papa now. I promise it’s okay. Look,” he held Eric’s hand and kissed his cold forehead. Gracie sniffed and took his other hand in hers. </p><p>“I’m sorry I was scared papa.”</p><p>“You have nothing to be sorry for, baby. He would understand. I was scared, but I remembered how loving and how gentle papa was with you and me. He didn’t deserve to turn into that.”</p><p>She let all of her emotions go and weeped. She clutched at his clothes and hand as she also remembered how much he loved her. </p><p>“Okay, let’s say goodbye so that papa can rest.”</p><p>“I promise I’ll take care of daddy for you. He misses you all the time, but I’ll help him. I’ll also draw you pictures,” Aaron couldn’t help but chuckle. Gracie kisses Eric’s uninjured cheek, “I love you, papa. I hope you find some peace.”</p><p>Aaron kissed Eric’s hand that had his ring, “Thank you for everything. I’m going to take good care of Gracie, so don’t you worry. You were the best dad... I always had a hunch you know,” he let out a mix between a laugh and a sob, “You helped me be a better parent,” he sighed shakily, “God I miss you. You always knew what to say. You deserved the world, and I’m sorry I couldn’t give you that. Rest easy now, love. I love you, and I’ll always love you.”</p><p>He cried and held Eric’s forehead to his own. He didn’t want to let go. Aaron laid a hand over the pocket on Eric’s chest wear his pocket was, and he felt something in there. He shakily opened his top pocket that was falling apart to see what was in it, and he gasped. It was a picture of himself holding Gracie. He felt Gracie hug him as he was huddled over his husband, gripping the picture. He then moved to hold her hand for comfort and kissed his forehead. </p><p>With help from Daryl, they carefully lifted Eric up and gently lowered him into the grave. Once they'd laid him down, Aaron couldn't help the sob that escaped from his throat, and he squeezed his eyes shut to try and prevent the tears that wanted to spill down his cheeks, as he laid the picture down on Eric’s chest.</p><p>“I love you,” he whispered one last time before climbing back up. </p><p>He turned to face away from the grave and held his hands over his face, trying to breathe through the sobs that wracked through his body.</p><p>He stood by himself for a few minutes before Daryl approached behind, and he did nothing more than wrap an arm around Aaron's shoulder and pull him a little closer until Aaron was ready to finish burying Eric.</p><p>When they were done, Aaron sat with him and Gracie for an hour as night began to fall. Though he was letting him go, he felt like he could finally breathe. </p><p>“I’m sure papa would appreciate the pictures you’re going to leave for him. I know he always loved them. He kissed her hair, “Want to go back and look at the pictures?” </p><p>She sniffled, “Yeah. I heard Miss Barbara tell Father Gabriel she would make dinner. We probably have stuff waiting at home.”</p><p>“That was very nice of them, huh... I’m sorry I couldn’t comfort you much today. I know you are grieving too.”</p><p>“You loved him so much. You should be sad.”</p><p>“One time he told me ‘It’s okay to not be okay,’ when I was sad. I want you to know that too. Papa wouldn’t want you to bottle everything in. If you’re sad, let yourself be sad, and don’t be afraid to talk to me. We can help each other. I’ll try harder to let you know when I need to be sad with you.”</p><p>She snuggled into his lap as they sat by his gravestone, “I love you.”</p><p>He smiled and kissed her cheek, “Eric always said ‘I had a hunch’ when I told him I loved him. I miss that...” he remembered the spaghetti dinner that started it all, “I love you too. Now let’s go home.”</p><p>She kissed the marker as she got up and took his hand. They made their way back quietly and peacefully.</p><p>Later that night, Gracie was laying with her dad in her tiny bed after they finished looking at the pictures and reading through his journals they dug up. She didn’t want him to leave and he didn’t want to sleep alone that night. </p><p> “Daddy?”</p><p>“Yeah, baby?”</p><p>“I’m sad.”</p><p>“Me too.”</p><p>“What if I have nightmares?”</p><p>“Oh, honey. We’ll get through them together, just like papa and I did. When I would get nightmares, papa would hold me, and we would talk about it. Papa always liked it when I stroked his hair and rubbed little designs in his back. I get bad nightmares too, but he was always there, and that made them better. I’ll always be there for you, and so will papa.”</p><p>She snuggled closer, already beginning to fall asleep. They would be okay.</p>
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